1. |
pine and spruce
01:30
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im still waiting up for u. ill draw another picturesque view of all the trees like pine and spruce in ones and twos. i smell like u cuz i used ur shampoo bc i stayed at ur place too many nights in a row but i cant help but want to walk back. ive always tried to take things slow but it dont take time to figure out that if it aint too hard its probably more than meant to be. i called ur phone and tho u hardly knew a thing about me those three hours surely passed like all my grades in high school. i swore my luck would soon run out when i hit all those green lights on that long drive back when i first came over yeah i sweat throught my tshirt.
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2. |
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celeste. i thought that u were the one. but like socrates u think too much. and ur brain might as well be poisoned and like him it was our time to die. i wish i did something wrong. and didnt wanna show u this song so bad. im still looking for the face of a man. ill close that book but search when i can. it comes and goes again in ur sleep. i know first hand how it feels. fuck ur happiness. replace it with my sadness. u might as well be a stranger on the tenth floor of sprau tower. and im and just an old wind up slowing down all the hours. the ones that make u feel at ur very best are the ones that can make u feel ur worst.
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3. |
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give it to me more straight up than u have in the past. like all the times u told me u loved me and that nothing would happen over break. i think u made a mistake. cuz now everything is so tragic. u came over and wipped blood off my mattress and i sobered up and we looked at our painting. it was the last good night. i cut myself my new key in that practice room. over the keys that i played that first song for u. and my dad said that time heals all wounds wouldnt be an old saying if it wasnt true. so i guess ill stay up and just bleed out those times just so u can be satisfied with ur old life. give me a break. i was usually so fucking doubtful. but u snuffed it out just to pour the gasoline on. right when we fully ignited. i couldnt hide my excitement as we talked and laughed all those nights in ur bed. suddenly it was dead. let me stay the night. i swear ill sleep on ur couch. i rememeber falling asleep on the cushions but i ended up on ur floor. and my whole neck was sore. oh plz god that doesnt exist. watching tim heal wounds on my write and i havent worn a tshirt in days. this is my fucking grave.
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4. |
ham-handed
01:50
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these problems arent my own but i guess thats what friends are for. stuck on the floor bag. my confidence begins to sag. count the pictures. rip them off of my dorm wall. i take the time to think about the things you'll probably shrug off. and i had a dream as i slept through that lecture. that the little things didnt grow out of proportion. and what'd i miss? im such a fucking klutz. stepped on the W. ill blame it on my own bad luck. and sometimes u just have to let it happen. and maybe if u dont think about it things wont suck. and sometimes u just have to let it happen. and maybe if u dont think about it all the time ur life wont suck.
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5. |
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its so oddly warm on this winters day. i guess im just used to feeling cold by now. and wheres the fucking snow? and all the feels it brings? its replaced by ispy books with u in ur bed. i swore id take this time to focus on whats important to me. i promise im alright just everything is so unexpected. ill squeeze u extra tight just so u can feel it. ur not going crazy. everything is temporary. and ur just out of order but thats ok. we'll just sleep in until it gets better. winter time. winter rain fall. winter time. winter rain fall. watch the leaves and rain fall down. its like it didnt matter that i tried twice as hard as anybody else. i guess ill sleep like shit.
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6. |
hey kid! im a computer
02:45
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hard drive. gears and wires deep inside. theyre fried. whats the word for it? failure? im mystified. windows screensaver on overdrive. its like "omg i forgot to save my game" all that time and effort just for nothing. hey kid! im a computer and this is my blue screen of death. control-alt-delete. format my memory once again. and all those empty gigabytes. all those open windows on ur laptops desktop. now theyre all closed. files. restore or delete? pictures i saved of u and ur feet. god damn. awkward conversations. down to the first email we sent. i found a reason to unplug for the weekend. cut my power supply now. ill just die here sleeping.
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